Why I am Single

Mariella Lapid
Feb 5, 2021
2 min read

Since this month is called the "Love Month", let me talk about this underrated love that made me realize how blessed I was in the midst of singleness.

For so many years, I turned away from this love, looking for love In all the wrong places, leaving me feeling more alone, hurt, and empty.

Only to find out that the love I've been looking for lives inside of me. And no, this is not just self-love. If this love is just coming from myself, I know it will surely run out. This kind of love overflows, it never runs out.

You are my oxygen.

You're making me wanna live again

Lyrics from the song Oxygen by Steffany Gretzinger

I fell unto my knees and cried.. I cried so much like my world was falling apart —when in fact, it was the opposite. I was crying my heart out because I was overwhelmed by the love of GOD. It was so intense that my heart was deeply moved.

I was sobbing so hard like I was breaking down, because He held all my broken pieces together leaving me whole again.They were tears of joy. And suddenly I am complete, contented, at peace, at rest on God's love, at rest in His loving and gentle arms.

All I was thinking about is how good and faithful God is. I am so undeserving of His love yet He still given Himself to me. Despite of all my flaws, my short-comings, the things I have done the past, He still let me experience His unfailing love simply because of how good He is.

All the fear of the unknown, the doubts, anxieties, the self-hatred were casted away by His one true great and unconditional love. As I gazed upon and focused on this one perfect love, everything else became a blur.

In the past, I was a sucker on the thought of romance, love, dating and marriage. I thought I was missing out on. a lot of things because I was single. But then I realized how this season is big blessing from GOD . Like a big present, wrapped with full of surprises, this season of singleness has brought to me more importantly GOD Himself . Being able to experience Christ drawing Himself closer to me, finding my identity in Him and not with anything else is the greatest gift I could ever ask for. All of which happened in my season of singleness.

My first love, my true love, and my greatest love.

My lifeblood, my true love

My reason, my because

My hope when I'm hopeless

You never run out, You're the source of it

The moon in my night sky

My vision when I'm blind

When I quit, You still fight

You fight for me

Lyrics from the song Oxygen by Steffany Gretzinger

God, I love you so much. Only your love is enough. No one completes me like you do.

How can I even not write about it?